he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
