All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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