I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
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i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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