I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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