You can't special order awesome
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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