I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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