Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
