you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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