I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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