thus making me awesome and them whores
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
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I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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