TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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