I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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