You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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