in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
