Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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