apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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