I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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