Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize