ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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