Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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