why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
