how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
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You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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