How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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