i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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