Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
