More tranny stories later!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
