..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
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I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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