Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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