Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
