what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
