so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize