i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
