what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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