no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
