Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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