I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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