YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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