How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize