My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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