we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
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I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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