just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Success! We fucked roommates!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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