yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
