I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
