Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Randomize
