if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
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