anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
