At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
