Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
