So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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