I wish i was in the wii world.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
