He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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