I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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