mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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