North Korea, Best Korea!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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