Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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